Promises to Myself

Two weeks ago I wrote down 5 promises to myself for the next 36 days. These promises included: 

1. No fast food

2. No sugar (treats, desserts)

3. No alcohol

4. No soda

5. Workout every day

 During this time I allowed myself two days to drink alcohol and one day for a dessert since this time would be over Valentine's Day and my work party. The first week was much easier than I would have ever imagined. I made it through that time without breaking down on any of the promises. The second week was another story. I ended up giving into one of them and slowly they were all getting broke. I will admit I am at fault for breaking down but when I think back to what went wrong I keep thinking of one thing. My family and friends were telling me it was too much, I was setting myself up for failure, etc. All of this in the back of my mind was telling me I couldn't do it. I knew it would be hard so from day one. I messaged a few people and asked them to support me and hold me accountable. Even with asking them for the much needed support I didn't get it. I learned from then on I need to hold myself accountable first and foremost and figure out a way to make it work. 

Today I am re-creating my promises and will be holding myself accountable to these short term for the next 3 weeks. I feel like I need some kind of end date to get myself over the hardest part of the hurdle. From there I will set a new goal until they become long term habits. 

1. Workout 5 days a week at minimum. 

2. Eat breakfast every morning. 

3. Eat balanced and healthy meals. 

4. Say 4 positive things about the day every day and put them in a journal.

5. No soda or candy. Dessert only on special occasions. 

I got this! I can do it! One step at a time to a healthier and happier Meesh! 

A New Day

Today was my work's All Employee Day. This is a day where all the employees meet for a day filled with special speakers and some work oriented training. This years topic was surrounding change. We explored within ourselves how we tolerate change, steps of change, and in the end a promise to ourselves. We all were presented with a 30 day challenge to find something to work on which would make the biggest impact of our lives from the changes we have experienced throughout the last year. This topic stopped me dead in my tracks. Here is a topic I am constantly facing in different aspects of my life, but it seems like it is more front of mind as of the last few months. In the past year I have experienced so many new things: new home, new relationship and job changes just to name a few. Throughout these changes I feel like I forgot to take care of myself. I am constantly on the move and always willing to drop things for myself to help others. I am re-committing myself to this journey. Short term it may be for the 30 day change, but I am hoping this challenge will be just the beginning of the change.

I started this blog 6 months ago to hold myself accountable to a healthier lifestyle. At the time I was mainly focused on the physical aspect of healthy meals and working out. I have fallen down multiple times and at times used one set back to allow another. Deep down I have realized there was more to finding myself, but have been avoiding it. I keep thinking "I'll start new next week" but here we are 6 months later. It is not only a quest of diet and exercise. I also need to focus on soul searching to help me along this journey. It will not be easy, there may be tears of what is discovered, but I feel it is truly necessary to become a healthier person inside and out.

The Journey Begins....

The idea of this blog began today while I was at the grocery store with my sister. We were in the checkout and I was CRAVING a peanut butter cup so I picked one up and added it to my groceries. She saw the candy bar and told me I didn't need it and put it back. I got upset and told her I NEEDED it and I would workout for it. I am embarrassed on how I reacted and felt like a two year old fighting with an adult for a piece of candy I wanted. She told me "you'll thank me later." I ended up with the candy bar with the agreement I could  eat it if it fit in my macros for the day. I looked at my food log and realized there was no way it would fit in my macros and I should not eat it.

This blog is to keep me accountable to myself. Over the years I have struggled with a healthy lifestyle for various reasons, which lets face it are just EXCUSES. No more... Today is the day to change who I have been to who I want to be.

This is where the journey begins... The journey to finding me, Meesh.